"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and have sex with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Johnny, "He's an assistant coach for the Michigan Wolverines, but I was too embarrassed to say so."
Prediction: Ohio State 31 Michigan 14